


Dear Agony

by Call_Me_Kiba



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Burns, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Galra Keith (Voltron), Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) Whump, Keith (Voltron) has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Self-Harm, Team as Family, Torture, Whipping, backwards morals, if you squint its a vent fic, keith has kit instincts, self destructive behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-08-19 08:28:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20206729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Call_Me_Kiba/pseuds/Call_Me_Kiba
Summary: Dear AgonyJust let go of meSuffer slowlyIs this the way it's got to be?Don't bury meFaceless enemyI'm so sorryIs this the way it's gotta be?Dear Agony





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ......I'm sorry.

* * *

Keith stared down at his arms, watching lines of crimson roll down his skin. A new word carved into his flesh, a new testament to the abomination that was his existence. Ever since he had found out he was half Galra, half of the monsters that were destroying the universe, all the things people had called him growing up made sense. Lone Wolf, dropout, freak, mistake, unwanted, burden.

Every single one of those words were etched into his skin. Though, he didn't do all of them. The foster homes he had been in were cruel, a perfect place for an unwanted freak.

Keith wrapped his wounds quickly when Allura's voice came over the intercom, putting his luxite blade back on his belt. They had come across a new planet for the Coalition, everyone needed to be there.

He wasn't sure why he was still on the team.

The others parted whenever he approached them, looking at him like he would snap and attack them right there. Shiro even looked at him like he was dangerous now, Keith could see the fear filled glint in his eyes. He hated it. Shiro couldn't love him anymore, their relationship was ruined-

Keith had spaced out by the time they reached the planet, robotically giving his input during the meeting. He could feel Shiro's eyes on him, the worried look he was giving Keith more often now. He hated it, the eyes on him, watching his every move like he was a dangerous animal.

He walked slowly when they were dismissed, lagging behind the others. Keith was hungry, tired, but he couldn't allow himself to sleep or eat more than he was given. It would be a waste of resources-

"We can use the Champion! If he pays his penance, it will protect us from the Galra!"

Keith froze, turning to see two of the Wraithrals speaking in hushed tones to each other. They wanted Shiro? For what?

"He isn't Galra, though. A human may not yield the same protection-"

"What about a half breed?"

They turned to him, eyes wide. Keith didn't know what made him speak up, but if it would protect Shiro and the rest of his team, he would do anything.

"A half breed? You mean to say that the Red Paladin of Voltron is half Galra?" They glared at him when he nodded.

Keith followed them, ignoring the snarls from Red in the back of his mind. 

_ "Turn back, cub. There is danger!"  _ Red always tried to protect him, and Keith wasn't sure why. He wasn't worthy of her, Allura told him so many times.

He had to do this, whatever it was. They led him to a platform in the middle of a giant room, like the Coliseum on Earth, and made him stand in the middle.

"Half breed, you have chosen to pay the penance of the Galran race. You will take on the suffering of the universe should you accept."

Keith's eyes widened. The suffering of the universe? He thought of Allura and Coran, the families lost, planets destroyed, and Shiro. He was the lone wolf, the dropout, the freak, he destroyed everything he touched. This would be the least he could do.

He nodded slowly. "....I accept…"

The Wraithrals moved quickly, ripping his armor and flight suit from him as they tied him to a post on the middle of the platform. Without the translator in his suit, he couldn't understand what they were saying anymore. The chains were too tight on his wrists.

A clawed hand in his hair wretched his head back, another rough hand forcing his jaw open as a bit was shoved between his teeth, the straps clipped behind his head, and a blindfold over his eyes. They left him in his compression shorts, gagged and tied. Humiliation burned in Keith's chest. 

But if this would make his team see that he was sorry for everything that happened to them, sorry that he was even born-

A taller Wraithral started to speak, jolting Keith from his thoughts. He didn't know what they were saying, he only nodded weakly after a sharp jab to his ribs. He heard heavy footsteps behind him, before a searing pain snapped at his back, and another, and another. The whip felt like it had shrapnel at the ends of it, ripping away his skin. Keith gripped the chains he could reach, pressed into the pole at his front. He could take it, he could. He had to. For his team, the universe.

Finally, the whipping stopped. Keith had lost count after the fiftieth lash, his back on fire and throbbing, blood flowing down his skin. He could hear the voices around him through the ringing in his ears, more footsteps coming closer. His jaw clenched around the bit, muscles pulled tight as a liquid was poured over his back. It sizzled, burned his skin. Acid, maybe. He refused to scream, to cry, make any noise at all. Keith didn't make a sound as his fingers were broken, leg twisted until it snapped at his knee, ripped from the pole he was tied to and whipped on his front. A sharp, stabbing pain flared on the side of his neck, and his body exploded with agonizing fire. He could feel the sounds rise in his throat, calls of distress that were never answered. He felt sick, he was going to throw up-

It was when he was tossed onto a stone slab, the crowd roaring around him as clawed hands gripped his hips, that he trilled. A loud, high pitched chirupping cry that he had no control over. Memories of his foster father pulling him to the edge of his bed surged to the surface of his mind, calloused hands grabbing and pulling and-

The weight was suddenly thrown off of him, but Keith couldn't stop crying out, flames consuming him from the inside. He wanted his team, he wanted Shiro- this wasn't fair what did he do why did they hate him so much he wanted his father-

Keith's cries slowly tapered into weak, pathetic trills. He did it, he paid the debt. Didn't he? His team could trust him again, Shiro could love him now...

\-------------------------------

Shiro suppressed a groan when the Wraithral king continued to talk, droning on and on about the history of the planet and its people. He walked next to Allura, who looked just as bored as he and the others did. He couldn't focus on the king, though, no matter how hard he tried. Keith had come up missing a few vargas ago, and while Lance had prattled on about how Keith must be acting anti social again, Shiro had another theory.

Keith was hiding from them.

He knew it, they all did. After finding out about his Galran heritage, they had all treated him differently. Shiro was ashamed of himself, every time he looked at Keith he saw Galra, not the person he fell in love with. It wasn't even Keith's fault, how could he have known when the only parent he had was his father?

Allura was even starting to regret her attitude towards Keith, trying her best not to snap at him like she had the first month after they found out.

"What's happening down there?" Pidge frowned, looking over a balcony at the crowd surrounding something in the middle.

"Ah, that. It is the ceremony of Penance." The Wraithral smirked. "It protects us from the Galra."

Allura frowned. "Last I had heard, this ceremony was outlawed."

"Yes well, that was before those beasts ravaged our planet." He glared at Allura. "Once the Galra has paid the Penance, it will be strung up on the outskirts of this castle to serve as a warning for others of its kind."

"Wait, you have a Galra here?" Hunk blinked. "How did you catch one?"

"It volunteered."

Alarm bells went off in Shiro's head, and he approached the rail to get a better look. He didn't register Allura at his side until she threw herself off the edge and towards the center. Shiro followed, heart racing when he finally heard the shrill cries coming from the platform. He knew that sound, Keith made it when he was upset, no matter how hard he tried not to make it.

Allura threw the aliens around the center away, and Shiro's heart dropped seeing Keith laying on a stone table, bleeding and trilling as he shook.

"Keith!?" Shiro immediately removed the blindfold and the bit, thumbing the tear tracks away. "Starburst? Keith, baby, look at me.."

Keith trilled again, but he cracked his eyes open slowly. Shiro gasped at his pinprick pupils, the sweat sticking to his forehead.

"Keith- Keith what happened-"

Keith made the sound again, weaker this time. Before Shiro could pick him up, Allura gathered the injured Paladin to her chest and took off towards the Castleship. Shiro was right at her heels, the others not far behind. He kept making that sound, heartbreaking and weak in its tone. Shiro wanted to take him from Allura, hold Keith and never let anyone touch him again.

Coran dropped what he had in his hand when they entered the medbay, rolling a cot over quickly.

"By Alfor, what happened to-" Coran started, but froze when he heard Keith trill.

"Coran, he- I thought he was an adult." Allura laid Keith down on his side, wincing at the cuts and burns on his skin.

The older Altean rattled off what he needed, pouring a blue liquid onto a cloth and gently dabbed it along Keith's back, flinching when the Paladin trilled in a higher pitch.

"Shiro, sit by his head. Try to- try to calm him down…" Coran continued to clean the wounds, trying his best to not react to the sounds Keith was making.

Shiro sat in a chair, running his fingers through Keith's hair and talking to him in low tones.

"Baby, Keith, can you hear me?" He leaned in close, eyes widening when he heard frantic apologies muttered between ragged breaths. "No- no, Keith, why are you sorry?"

Keith just trilled, trying to pull away, like Shiro's touch was hurting him.

"Why- why is he making that noise?" Lance watched from near the pods, clinging onto Hunk and Pidge.

"It's…" Coran sighed, carefully rolling Keith onto his front so he wasn't on the burns. "It's a sound that, that Galran kits make when they're in distress. It's a call for their pack."

Pidge made a confused noise, and Allura sighed.

"It seems, Keith has the instincts of a Galran child…"


	2. Chapter 2

A child? That couldn't be right.

"But- Keith is like, 20, isn't he?" Lance looked between the Alteans and Keith, eyes wide as the Red Paladin twitched and sobbed.

"Galra are a pack species." Coran sighed, carefully rolling Keith onto his front and murmuring to him when he shrieked in pain. "If they are starved of basic affection and love, kits cling to their base instincts, and make these sounds to try and get what they've been craving."

Shiro continued to run his fingers through Keith's hair, swallowing his emotions every time he flinched or tried to push them away. He let his gaze slide to the wounds on Keith's back. They were horrific, red and bloodied and the burnt skin around them. Coran gave him a look, and Allura helped hold Keith down as Coran snapped his leg and fingers back into place. Keith shrieked louder, trilling and trying to either pull away or cling onto Shrio, he wasn't sure. It was like Keith was too afraid to be comforted.

"Can't- can't we put him in a pod?" Shiro looked to Coran, feeling helpless.

"We can't until whatever they injected him with has cleared his system." Coran frowned at the scanner in his hand. "It's given him a fever, the pods wouldn't know what to do with that."

"Then, is there anything you can give him for the pain?" Hunk chewed on his lip, unable to look away from Keith.

Coran nodded, inserting an IV line into Keith's arm. His trilling almost immediately quieted as the medication entered his veins, and the shaking subsided.

They were all at a loss, staring at the prone form on the cot. Pidge was the first to move, pulling up a chair and sitting down next to Shiro. The others followed her lead. Shiro still hadn't moved, hands framing Keith's head and rubbing gently circles into his scalp.

"How did they know he was half Galra?" Pidge scowled, angry with the Wraithrals for doing this to Keith. "Why would they force him to do this?"

"They said he volunteered…" Allura crossed her arms over her chest. "But, why?"

Silence fell over them, no one having the answer to why Keith would voluntarily do something as horrific as this. Keith shifted slightly, groaning as he cracked his eyes open.

"Keith?" Shiro brushed his hair from his face, frowning at the almost grey complexion on his cheeks. "Baby, what happened?"

"...." Keith wheezed, unable to focus. "...I- paid- paid….p-paid… "

"Paid? Paid what, Keith?" Shiro's frown deepened.

A full body shudder racked Keith's frame. "P-pr-ice...paid...f-for b-being-" he trailed off, a fresh wave of tears welling up in his eyes as he trilled.

"Oh stars…" Allura gasped, fury coloring her face before she got up and stormed out.

"For being what? A Paladin? I don't understand-" Lance grumbled when Pidge hit his arm. "What was that for?"

"They wouldn't hurt us for being Paladins." She hissed. "They would have gotten all of us. They hurt Keith because he's Galra."

Coran ushered the other Paladins out of the medbay when Keith started to become hysterical, whatever they injected him with seemed to amplify the pain he was in. Shiro tried his best to comfort Keith, but as soon as his fever broke, Coran put him in the pod.

"Coran?" Shiro's voice was soft, thick with emotion. "You saw his arms, didn't you?"

The Altean nodded slowly. "How long has he been hurting himself like this?"

"I- I thought he had stopped. I finally got him to talk things out rather than let them build. I just-" a shuddering inhale had Coran wrapping an arm around Shiro's shoulders. "Gods, Coran, I failed him-"

"No, don't think that way, lad." Coran slowly guided Shiro to an extra cot. "Things like this take time, patience, and understanding. And we- we certainly did not help him with the information he is half Galra."

"Can we fix it? Can, can  _ I  _ fix this?" Shiro looked up at Coran as he sat down, lost.

"We will find a way, my boy."

\-----------------------------

Keith fell forward into a pair of strong arms, shivering off the chill of the pod. He blinked a few times before looking up, confused as to why Shiro was hugging him.

"Sh-Shiro..?" Why was he here? He never had help coming out of a pod.

Shiro just held him, running his hands along Keith's back like he was checking for something.

"Is- you didn't- you didn't need to wait for me…" Keith flinched when Shiro gasped, pushing him back by his shoulders gently to look at his face.

"Starburst, why wouldn't I wait for you?" Shiro's face scrunched into an unreadable expression.

Starburst...Shiro hasn't called him that since his trials. Keith searches his face for an answer, why would Shiro want to be this close to him again?

"I'm Galra. You shouldn't have waited for me, it's a waste of time and resources. I would have healed." Keith wished he could snatch the words from the air right after he said them as Shiro's face crumpled into something like anguish.

"Keith…." Shiro's voice was so full of pain and emotion it had Keith reeling. Was his price not paid? Was it not enough? He should go back to the Wraithral-

He was torn from his thoughts when Shiro gently guided him out of the medbay, leading him towards his bedroom. Keith has been in Shiro's room before, when they would cuddle and sleep together if Shiro's roaming hands would stay still.

Shiro carefully slid off the cryosuit, silent and looking at Keith in a way that made something flip in his gut, made it curl and twist. When he was down to his underwear, Shiro lifted his arm, running the thumb of his flesh hand across the carved words Keith had inflicted onto his skin.

Keith couldn't stop the flinch when Shiro pressed gentle kisses to each raised line, he did his best not to cry. Shiro hasn't touched him like this since-

"I love you, Keith. I love you so much…" Shiro continued to kiss his skin, up his arms, and pulled him into a firm hug. "You- you know that, right?"

He couldn't find the words he wanted, but he knew he wanted to say yes. His throat just wouldn't let the word go.

Shiro sighed softly, running his fingers through Keith's hair before pulling away and getting Keith the hoodie and pants he liked to wear.

"Sh-Shiro-!" Keith squeaked when he was lifted, held close with his head tucked against Shiro's shoulder. The Black Paladin just held him tightly, almost possessive. Keith could only wilt and allow himself to be carried. Shiro saw his scars again, the new ones as well. He had promised to stop, told Shiro he would stop and talk things out.

How could Shiro forgive him for this? The look on his face told Keith that his penance hadn't been paid in full, and for one horrifying moment, he thought that Shiro and the others would finish it.

What he wasn't expecting, however, was to be piled into a bed of soft blankets and gathered into Shiro's lap. The other Paladins, including Allura and Coran, pressed in from all sides. It confused him.

"We love you, Keith." Shiro whispered it into his ear, and Keith froze. The others agreed, apologizing for their actions and how desperately they wanted to fix it, how scared they were when they rescued him from the Wraithrals.

"N-no, don't- I don't-" Keith shook his head, trying his best to keep his tears at bay. "I deserved-"

"No. You didn't deserve to be hurt." Shiro's tone was firm, laced with untold emotion. "You've never deserved to be treated how you've been treated Keith, and I'm so sorry that I became one of those people in your life…"

Shiro blurred in his vision, and Keith couldn't stop the desperate trill he made. He wrapped his arms around himself, and wailed when he felt the others pressing in closer. They gave him that sort of pressure, the kind given from a hug that made you feel safe.

It was something he hadn't had since his father died.

They showered him with praises and apologizes, tender hands rubbing firm yet gentle circles into his skin as he cried. Keith wasn't used to this feeling. It felt like he was torn open, raw and vulnerable.

"We'll make it up to you, Keith. I promise." Shiro laid down with him, wrapping Keith up in strong arms, protected and safe.

And Keith believed him.


End file.
